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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4094148" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">I've Learned.....</span></strong></p><p></p><p>I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.</p><p>All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just</p><p>assholes.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.</p><p>After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are</p><p>more screwed up than you think.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're</p><p>finished.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are</p><p>celebrities.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at</p><p>first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to</p><p>take its place.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that 99 percent of the time when something isn't working in</p><p>your house, one of your kids did it.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from</p><p>you</p><p>too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.</p><p></p><p>I've learned to say "Screw'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.</p><p></p><p>Pass this along to 5 friends...trust me, they'll appreciate it.</p><p>Who knows, maybe something good will happen. If not... tough shit</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">&&& </span></strong></p><p></p><p>1. What is the best thing about ****** a homeless woman?</p><p>You can drop her off anywhere.</p><p></p><p>2. What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?</p><p>Outlaws are wanted.</p><p></p><p>3. What should a woman say to a man she's just had sex with?</p><p>Whatever she wants. He's sleeping.</p><p></p><p>4. Where does virgin wool come from?</p><p>Ugly sheep.</p><p></p><p>5. How do you spot the blind man at a nudist colony?</p><p>It isn't hard.</p><p></p><p>6. How can you make your wife mad while making love?</p><p>Call her from your cell phone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 4094148, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]I've Learned.....[/COLOR][/B] I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think. I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place. I've learned that 99 percent of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. I've learned to say "Screw'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages. Pass this along to 5 friends...trust me, they'll appreciate it. Who knows, maybe something good will happen. If not... tough shit [B][COLOR="Red"]&&& [/COLOR][/B] 1. What is the best thing about ****** a homeless woman? You can drop her off anywhere. 2. What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted. 3. What should a woman say to a man she's just had sex with? Whatever she wants. He's sleeping. 4. Where does virgin wool come from? Ugly sheep. 5. How do you spot the blind man at a nudist colony? It isn't hard. 6. How can you make your wife mad while making love? Call her from your cell phone. [/QUOTE]
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