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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4222829" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Common Courtesy Rules </span></strong></p><p></p><p>1. If you're in the left lane, and everybody's passing you on the right,</p><p>that means you need to get the fuck out of the left lane, genius.</p><p></p><p>2. If you stop to talk in the store, get your fat ass out of the middle</p><p>of the aisle. If you don't, and someone politely says, "Excuse me" to</p><p>get through, you have no right to look at them like they just shit in</p><p>your coffee.</p><p></p><p>3. Walk on the right side of the aisle. Works like a charm, just</p><p>like they taught you in kindergarten.</p><p></p><p>4. If you're stuck in a line of cars behind someone who needs to read</p><p>rule number one above, but you're not the poor slob right behind the</p><p>asshole, tailgating, flashing your high-beams, hitting the horn or giving</p><p>the finger will not help. The poor slob that's in front of you can't go</p><p>any faster than the shithead in front of him. Chill the fuck out.</p><p></p><p>5. Hang the fuck up and drive.</p><p></p><p>6. Four-wheel drive means you can probably get going when it's snowing. </p><p>However, it doesn't mean that you can stop, nor does it give you the right</p><p>to drive like a fucking maniac and cause problems for people who don't</p><p>have four wheel drive.</p><p></p><p>7. If you're someone who can't buy a clue and still has to drive in the</p><p>left lane all the time because you're afraid to change lanes, stay the</p><p>fuck home or ride the damn bus.</p><p></p><p>8. The next time you cut a corner, rather than turning into your own</p><p>lane, realize that if you're in an accident, it will be your fault. More</p><p>importantly, if you hit someone and you're not injured in the accident,</p><p>don't be surprised if they beat the shit out of you for being stupid.</p><p></p><p>9. If it's raining, or snowing, or foggy, or dark, turn your headlights on,</p><p>and use the low beams. High beams just reflect the fog, blind the</p><p>other drivers, and prove to the world that you're a stupid fuck.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">@@@</span></strong></p><p></p><p>What is the most popular pick up line in a gay bar?</p><p>Can I push your stool in?</p><p></p><p>How do you know when you've walked into a gay church service?</p><p>Only half the congregation are kneeling.</p><p></p><p>Q: What is an innuendo?</p><p>A: An Itialian suppository!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 4222829, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Common Courtesy Rules [/COLOR][/B] 1. If you're in the left lane, and everybody's passing you on the right, that means you need to get the fuck out of the left lane, genius. 2. If you stop to talk in the store, get your fat ass out of the middle of the aisle. If you don't, and someone politely says, "Excuse me" to get through, you have no right to look at them like they just shit in your coffee. 3. Walk on the right side of the aisle. Works like a charm, just like they taught you in kindergarten. 4. If you're stuck in a line of cars behind someone who needs to read rule number one above, but you're not the poor slob right behind the asshole, tailgating, flashing your high-beams, hitting the horn or giving the finger will not help. The poor slob that's in front of you can't go any faster than the shithead in front of him. Chill the fuck out. 5. Hang the fuck up and drive. 6. Four-wheel drive means you can probably get going when it's snowing. However, it doesn't mean that you can stop, nor does it give you the right to drive like a fucking maniac and cause problems for people who don't have four wheel drive. 7. If you're someone who can't buy a clue and still has to drive in the left lane all the time because you're afraid to change lanes, stay the fuck home or ride the damn bus. 8. The next time you cut a corner, rather than turning into your own lane, realize that if you're in an accident, it will be your fault. More importantly, if you hit someone and you're not injured in the accident, don't be surprised if they beat the shit out of you for being stupid. 9. If it's raining, or snowing, or foggy, or dark, turn your headlights on, and use the low beams. High beams just reflect the fog, blind the other drivers, and prove to the world that you're a stupid fuck. [B][COLOR="Red"]@@@[/COLOR][/B] What is the most popular pick up line in a gay bar? Can I push your stool in? How do you know when you've walked into a gay church service? Only half the congregation are kneeling. Q: What is an innuendo? A: An Itialian suppository! [/QUOTE]
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