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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4251002" data-attributes="member: 14320">Dear Bruce....Extracts from the problem page of the famous Australian men'smagazine "Cobbler's", starring the legendary "Uncle Bruce,"... the" agony aunt with Balls"Q. Dear Bruce I have some lucky condoms that I keep in my wallet.I am beginning to wonder if they really are lucky as they have beenthere for two months.A. Jesus mate, no worries. Men only use rubbers when they aresober anyway.Guess that means you've been pissed for two months which makes youone lucky b@st@rd! Just on a medical note rubbers are good when youdo an Abo (Aborigines) as they are smelly b@st@rds, Oh and Roos (Kangaroo) too, helps avoidbush rash.Q. Dear Bruce my girlfriend got upset when I suggested I use an oldgirlfriend's vibrator on her.A. No worries. I've seen this before. Women need reassuring.Tell the stupid bitch that you have cleaned it since you last usedit. Sometimes Sheila's get hung up on hygiene.Q. Dear Bruce I gave my sister one up the shitter and now she wantsme to do her mate.A. Eh mate you're from Melbourne right? No worries mate, as longas her mate is a Sheila it's ok.Q. Dear Bruce, After my last Hockey game I got an erection in theshowers.Is this normal , I am a single guy and like girls.A. Nah mate you're queer. Only queers play hockey.Q .Dear Bruce, my wife says I don't use enough lubricant before wehave sex.A. Exactly how many beers are you drinking before you root her ?Q. Dear Bruce , I am beginning to suspect I am gay. I wear leathertrousers and have just grown a Freddie Mercury moustache. I don'tknow who to turn to.A. Get a grip of yourself man. Face facts, be logical: You'requeer, no one likes you , get a gun, blow your brains out.Q. Dear Bruce my girl friend says we don't do enough foreplay.A. Geez mate, you had me stumped for a bit. I didn't recognize theword Foreplay. Then it struck me, Fore is what you shout in golf..Jeez guy, men don't play golf with women but it's ok for herpractice putting with your dick.Q. Dear Bruce, I fooled around with a Kiwi and now I have a dose.What do I do ?A. Deny ,deny, deny, deny, deny and never ever ,ever, ever ,everadmit to going with a kiwi.Q. Bruce the boys are telling me there is such a thing as Dingosex.What is it ?A. There are two types. The first one when you wake up next to af*cking ugly Sheila and you chew your arm off to escape rather thanwake her, just like a dingo caught in a trap, and the other one iswhen you drink too much and your old boy it Dingo in and dingo hard.</blockquote>

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