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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4282993" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong>YOU MIGHT BE IN A "REDNECK" VOLUNTEER FIRE DEPARTMENT IF....</strong></p><p></p><p>Your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for drag racing ... on the way to a fire.</p><p></p><p>Your firehouse has wheels.</p><p></p><p>Fire training consists of everyone standing around a bonfire, swapping fish stories and drinking.</p><p></p><p>You've ever let someone's house burn down because they wouldn't let you hunt on their property.</p><p></p><p>You don't own a Dalmatian, but you do have a coon dog named Sparky.</p><p></p><p>You've walked through a Christmas display and came up with at least three new ideas for the lighting scheme on your fire truck.</p><p></p><p>Your engine had to be towed in the last parade through town.</p><p></p><p>Dispatch can't mention your name without laughing.</p><p></p><p>Your defibrillator is a pair of jumper cables and a marine battery.</p><p></p><p>Your pumper truck has been *on* fire more times than it's been *to* a fire.</p><p>bar</p><p></p><p>An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served them food and drinks.</p><p></p><p>As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super."</p><p></p><p>On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."</p><p></p><p>She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."</p><p></p><p>To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, bitch."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 4282993, member: 14320"] [B]YOU MIGHT BE IN A "REDNECK" VOLUNTEER FIRE DEPARTMENT IF....[/B] Your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for drag racing ... on the way to a fire. Your firehouse has wheels. Fire training consists of everyone standing around a bonfire, swapping fish stories and drinking. You've ever let someone's house burn down because they wouldn't let you hunt on their property. You don't own a Dalmatian, but you do have a coon dog named Sparky. You've walked through a Christmas display and came up with at least three new ideas for the lighting scheme on your fire truck. Your engine had to be towed in the last parade through town. Dispatch can't mention your name without laughing. Your defibrillator is a pair of jumper cables and a marine battery. Your pumper truck has been *on* fire more times than it's been *to* a fire. bar An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super." On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground." She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one." To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, bitch." [/QUOTE]
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