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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4364786" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">A Sign In The Pub</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar</p><p>which reads:</p><p></p><p>Cheese Sandwich: $1.50</p><p>Chicken Sandwich: $2.50</p><p>Hand Job: $10.00</p><p>Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to</p><p>the bar and beckons to one of the three attractive blondes</p><p>serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.</p><p>"Yes," she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"</p><p>"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who</p><p>gives the hand-jobs?"</p><p>"Yes," she purrs, "indeed I am."</p><p>The man replies "Well please wash your hands because I want</p><p>a cheese sandwich!"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">==========</span></strong></p><p>Thor, the norse god of thunder, decided that he needed some female</p><p>company. He soon met a beautiful woman and they snuck away for</p><p>some lovemaking.</p><p></p><p>After many hours, he felt it was time to tell the woman that he</p><p>was more than just a mortal man.</p><p></p><p>He decided to tell her his name.</p><p></p><p>"You're Thor?" she replied. "I'm tho thor I can barely sit down."</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">==========</span></strong></p><p>I was in a check out line the other day and the couple in front</p><p>of me was arguing about whose turn it was to pay. The clerk was</p><p>methodically scanning their purchases and kind of listening until</p><p>the lady said to the guy, "Stop being a scrote."</p><p></p><p>With a furrowed brow the clerk asked, "What is a scrote?"</p><p></p><p>Without missing a beat the lady responded, "Short for scrotum.</p><p>He is somewhere between a prick and an asshole."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Roses And Violets</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Roses are straight</p><p>Violets are twisted</p><p>Bend over love</p><p>You're about to get fisted</p><p></p><p>Roses are crap</p><p>Violets are wanky</p><p>Oooh I've just cum</p><p>Pass me a hanky</p><p></p><p>Roses are stupid</p><p>Violets are silly</p><p>Grease up your flaps</p><p>Cuz here comes my willy</p><p></p><p>Roses are awful</p><p>Violets are the pits</p><p>Lift up your shirt</p><p>And show us your tits</p><p></p><p>Roses are crap</p><p>Violets are shit</p><p>Sit on my face</p><p>And wiggle a bit</p><p></p><p>Roses are red</p><p>It's elementary</p><p>Let's ring up a friend</p><p>And try double entry</p><p></p><p>Roses are shit</p><p>Violets are crap</p><p>Show me your clit</p><p>And I'll cum in your lap</p><p></p><p>Roses are red</p><p>Skid marks are brown</p><p>Give us a blow job</p><p>And swallow it down</p><p></p><p>Roses are groovy</p><p>Violets are funky</p><p>I'm thinking of you</p><p>And spanking my monkey</p><p></p><p>An accident really uncanny,</p><p>Befell an unfortunate granny.</p><p>She sat down in a chair</p><p>While her false teeth were there,</p><p>And bit herself right in the fanny!</p><p></p><p>My back aches, my pussy is sore,</p><p>I simply can't screw any more,</p><p>I'm covered with sweat,</p><p>You haven't come yet,</p><p>And my God, it's a quarter to four!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 4364786, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]A Sign In The Pub[/COLOR][/B] A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $10.00 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. "Yes," she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?" "I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?" "Yes," she purrs, "indeed I am." The man replies "Well please wash your hands because I want a cheese sandwich!" [B][COLOR="Red"]==========[/COLOR][/B] Thor, the norse god of thunder, decided that he needed some female company. He soon met a beautiful woman and they snuck away for some lovemaking. After many hours, he felt it was time to tell the woman that he was more than just a mortal man. He decided to tell her his name. "You're Thor?" she replied. "I'm tho thor I can barely sit down." [B][COLOR="Red"]==========[/COLOR][/B] I was in a check out line the other day and the couple in front of me was arguing about whose turn it was to pay. The clerk was methodically scanning their purchases and kind of listening until the lady said to the guy, "Stop being a scrote." With a furrowed brow the clerk asked, "What is a scrote?" Without missing a beat the lady responded, "Short for scrotum. He is somewhere between a prick and an asshole." [B][COLOR="Teal"]Roses And Violets[/COLOR][/B] Roses are straight Violets are twisted Bend over love You're about to get fisted Roses are crap Violets are wanky Oooh I've just cum Pass me a hanky Roses are stupid Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cuz here comes my willy Roses are awful Violets are the pits Lift up your shirt And show us your tits Roses are crap Violets are shit Sit on my face And wiggle a bit Roses are red It's elementary Let's ring up a friend And try double entry Roses are shit Violets are crap Show me your clit And I'll cum in your lap Roses are red Skid marks are brown Give us a blow job And swallow it down Roses are groovy Violets are funky I'm thinking of you And spanking my monkey An accident really uncanny, Befell an unfortunate granny. She sat down in a chair While her false teeth were there, And bit herself right in the fanny! My back aches, my pussy is sore, I simply can't screw any more, I'm covered with sweat, You haven't come yet, And my God, it's a quarter to four! [/QUOTE]
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