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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4385315" data-attributes="member: 14320">Blind DateMy friend set me up on a blind date after my first divorce.Well, he was a friend at the time.Anyway, I called her up and said, "I can't take you anywhere reallyexpensive because I'm paying lawyers for a divorce right now."She was cool. She said, "We can eat at Hardees, eight pieces ofchicken and four biscuits for $6.99." She was a husky girl (youknow, Sears catalog).When we got to Hardees, she was moving! I only got two wings out ofeverything! She wouldn't even butter her biscuits, she would pop abiscuit and then do a butter chaser! I couldn't watch her eat thechicken. She kept getting crumbs in her moustache. She would havegotten it all if her teeth were in!Don't get me wrong... I still did her!--------In days of old, when knights were bold,And girls were quite particular.They would put them up against the wall,And fuck them perpendicular.Q. Why should you wear ribbed condoms for anal sex?A. Better traction in the mud.Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds?A. Bonds mature.Q. What is the only game in which the more you lose, the more you have to show for it?A. Strip PokerWHAT A GUY SHOULD NOT SAY AFTER SEX "I was kidding about being sterile, you know.""Do you always fart like that when someone shoves it in?""How come it's so BIG in there?""You've done this with a lotta guys before, right?""Next time I come over, don't bother with the underwear, OK?"(Sniff, sniff) "Is that CAT food?"(Yelling) "OK guys, it's a wrap, cut, and print it!!""You are great in bed, but your sister gives better head!""My first wife was prettier, but you can screw a lot better.""Do you know what a 'douche' is?""Maybe if you did some pushups, your boobs would grow.""I want you to try some of MY deodorant.""I'm not into relationships. Can't we just screw, like every Tuesday night or something?""Maybe if you lost some weight, I could get it all the way in!""I never saw a girl with hairy boobs before!""I've been getting these little blisters lately.....""You wanna do those dishes before you leave?""You should go wash that, the cabbie will think something DIED in there!"__________There was a young woman named JeannieWho sobbed to her date, "You're a meanie".You claim you're a studBut, oh, what a dud!Your prick is a real teeny-weeny.__________There was a young whore from Kilkenny,Who charged two fucks for a penny,For half of that sum,You could bugger her bum,An economy practiced by many</blockquote>

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