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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4389447" data-attributes="member: 14320">The ParrotA woman was driving along, and her car broke down. Shedecided to hitchhike to the nearest gas station. A truck driverhauling a load of chickens pulled up. The driver asked, "Hey,little lady, need a lift?""Yes, my car broke down, and I need a ride to the nearestgas station."The driver replied, "OK, but first you have to fuck me!No fuck, no ride."She said, "I'm sorry, I don't need a ride that badly."So the driver pulled away. All this time, the driver hada parrot on his shoulder.The parrot started saying, "No fuck, no ride! No fuck, noride!"The driver said, "You had better shut up, bird, or I'm gonnathrow you in back with the chickens!"About two miles down the road, the parrot said, "No fuck,no ride!"So, the driver slammed on the breaks and threw him in backwith the chickens!A few miles further down the road, the driver heard sirens andsaw flashing lights, so he pulled over. He got out of thetruck and approached the officer."What's the problem, officer. I wasn't speeding was I?"The officer said, "I wasn't pulling you over for speeding.I just wanted to inform you that you have a parrot throwingchickens out the trailer screaming, No fuck, no ride! No fuck,no ride!"_______From 20 to 30 if a man live right,its once in the morning and twice at night.From 30 to 40 if he still lives right,he missing a morning and sometimes a night.From 40 to 50, its just now and then.From 50 to 60, its heavens knows when.From 60 to 70 he's slightly declined,but don't let him kid you, its STILL on his mind! Females On BoardWhile the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc. Finally, she said, 'Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to Afghanistan ' An old MSgt. sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, 'Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman? When the attendant came by he said 'Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?' 'Yes,' said the attendant, 'In fact, this entire crew is female.' My God,' he said, 'I wish I had two double scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit.' 'That's another thing, Sergeant,' said the crew member, 'We No Longer Call It The Cockpit''It's The Box Office.' 88888A new TV game show in Hollywood had many contestants whowere beautiful, but they weren't necessarily too smart.On one show, one such woman was extremely nervous, but triedto make the best of her performance.The host asked, "Who was the first man, for one thousand dollars?"She responded, "The first man was Peter, my postman, but he onlypaid me one hundred dollars!"88888Why are hurricanes normally named after women? .....When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.Why do women have breasts? .....So men will talk to them.What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? .....A women who won't do what she's told.What's the difference between a woman with PMS and mad cow's disease? .....Two tits!Why did God invent football? .....So that married men could have some physical contact in their lives!Why do women always appear to be changing their minds? .....It allows them to continually delude themselves that they have one!Why hasn't a woman ever walked on the moon? .....Because it doesn't need cleaning!What should you give a woman who has everything? .....A man to show her how to work it.</blockquote>

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