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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4423389" data-attributes="member: 14320">Not a VirginA girl about to be married confessed to her close friend that shewas not, as her fiance thought, a virgin. She asked her friend whatto do."No Problem," said the friend, who had just finished watching anArnold Schwarzenegger movie. "Just buy a piece of raw liver andshove it up inside you. It will make you tight and he will neverknow the difference."The girl followed this advice and on her wedding night the groomconsummated the marriage with tremendous energy in the bed, on thefloor, in the bathtub, under the kitchen table, everywhere. Shefell asleep blissfully, but when she awoke she was devastated tofind the following note pinned to her pillow: Dear Jane: Last nightwas pure heaven. Unfortunately, since we will never be able torepeat that performance, I am leaving you forever.P.S. Your pussy is in the sink.SSSSSThe pretty teacher was concerned with one of her young students soshe took him aside after class one day."Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?""I'm in love," replied Little Johnny.Holding back an urge to smile, the teacher asked, "With whom?""With you!" he said."But Little Johnny," said the teacher gently, "don't you see howsilly that is? Sure I'd like a husband of my own someday ... but Idon't want a child.""Oh, don't worry," said Little Johnny reassuringly,"I'll use a rubber!"</blockquote>

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