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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4433340" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Blue">Words Of Wit And Wisdom</span></strong></p><p></p><p>In just two days tomorrow will be yesterday. But I never saw either on</p><p>the calendar</p><p></p><p>Always wanted to be a procrastinator, but never got around to it.</p><p></p><p>My friend has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, He takes something for</p><p>it.</p><p></p><p>Never be afraid to try something new, remember amateurs built the ark -</p><p>professionals built the Titanic.</p><p></p><p>Love is grand - divorce is a hundred grand.</p><p></p><p>Politicians and diapers have one thing in common, they should both be</p><p>changed regularly and for the same reason.</p><p></p><p>One of life's mysteries - how can a two pound box of candy make a</p><p>person gain five pounds.</p><p></p><p>Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.</p><p></p><p>Age doesn't always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone.</p><p></p><p>Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.</p><p></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Blue">Important Laws</span></strong></p><p></p><p>1. The Law of Common Sense</p><p>Never accept a drink from a urologist, nor a friendly handshake from a proctologist.</p><p></p><p>2. The Law of Reality</p><p>Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.</p><p></p><p>3. The Law of Avoiding Oversell</p><p>When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.</p><p></p><p>4. Law of Physical Displacement</p><p>Sometimes you are the dog. Sometimes you are the hydrant.</p><p></p><p>5. Legal Rights</p><p>Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.</p><p></p><p>6. Law of Probable Dispersal</p><p>Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.</p><p></p><p>7. Law Pertaining to Divorce</p><p>Be a good housekeeper. When you leave him ... get a good lawyer...keep his house.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 4433340, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Blue"]Words Of Wit And Wisdom[/COLOR][/B] In just two days tomorrow will be yesterday. But I never saw either on the calendar Always wanted to be a procrastinator, but never got around to it. My friend has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, He takes something for it. Never be afraid to try something new, remember amateurs built the ark - professionals built the Titanic. Love is grand - divorce is a hundred grand. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common, they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. One of life's mysteries - how can a two pound box of candy make a person gain five pounds. Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician. Age doesn't always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone. Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show. [B][COLOR="Blue"]Important Laws[/COLOR][/B] 1. The Law of Common Sense Never accept a drink from a urologist, nor a friendly handshake from a proctologist. 2. The Law of Reality Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. 3. The Law of Avoiding Oversell When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse. 4. Law of Physical Displacement Sometimes you are the dog. Sometimes you are the hydrant. 5. Legal Rights Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege. 6. Law of Probable Dispersal Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. 7. Law Pertaining to Divorce Be a good housekeeper. When you leave him ... get a good lawyer...keep his house. [/QUOTE]
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