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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4445474" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong>Welfare Office</strong></p><p></p><p>A man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the</p><p>counter and said, "Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather</p><p>find a job,"</p><p></p><p>The person behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing.</p><p>We just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a</p><p>chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive</p><p>around a big black Mercedes, and the suits, shirts, and ties are</p><p>provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be</p><p>provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her</p><p>overseas holidays trips.</p><p>The salary package is $200,000 a year!"</p><p></p><p>The man said, "You're bullshitting me man!"</p><p></p><p>The clerk behind the counter said, "Yeah, well, you started it."</p><p></p><p>*****</p><p>If size doesn't matter, how come my girlfriends vibrator isn't three</p><p>inches long and crooked?</p><p></p><p>*****</p><p>I don't know whats happening in this country. You've got school</p><p>children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children.</p><p>Its a nightmare ... you just don't know whether to carry sweets or money!</p><p></p><p>*****</p><p>A man is lying on the beach, sun bathing, wearing nothing but a cap</p><p>over his dick. An ugly woman is passing and remarks 'if you were a</p><p>gentleman, you would lift your hat for a lady ...'</p><p>He replies 'If you were any sort of lady, the hat would lift itself!'</p><p></p><p>*****</p><p>A girl was visiting her blonde friend and noticed she had acquired</p><p>two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.</p><p></p><p>The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex</p><p>and one was named Timex.</p><p></p><p>Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"</p><p>Whereupon the blonde responded, "What else you gonna name watch dogs?"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 4445474, member: 14320"] [B]Welfare Office[/B] A man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job," The person behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around a big black Mercedes, and the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays trips. The salary package is $200,000 a year!" The man said, "You're bullshitting me man!" The clerk behind the counter said, "Yeah, well, you started it." ***** If size doesn't matter, how come my girlfriends vibrator isn't three inches long and crooked? ***** I don't know whats happening in this country. You've got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children. Its a nightmare ... you just don't know whether to carry sweets or money! ***** A man is lying on the beach, sun bathing, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick. An ugly woman is passing and remarks 'if you were a gentleman, you would lift your hat for a lady ...' He replies 'If you were any sort of lady, the hat would lift itself!' ***** A girl was visiting her blonde friend and noticed she had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" Whereupon the blonde responded, "What else you gonna name watch dogs?" [/QUOTE]
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