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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4474024" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">My First Mammogram</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there’s no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam, and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And you can do this right in your own home!</p><p></p><p>Exercise 1</p><p></p><p>Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds (while you hold your breath). Repeat again, in case the first time wasn’t effective enough.</p><p></p><p>Exercise 2</p><p></p><p>Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.</p><p></p><p>Exercise 3</p><p></p><p>Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next week and do it again!!</p><p></p><p>CONGRATULATIONS! Now you have nothing at all to worry about when you go for your mammogram!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">qqqqq</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A married guy is hanging his head.</p><p>His wife Says, "Honey, how come you are hanging your head, after all,</p><p>it's our 15th wedding anniversary.</p><p>Husband Says well honey, I was just thinking back 15 years ago when I</p><p>committed that crime, and your father the judge said, "Son, you can spend</p><p>15 years at hard labor or marry my daughter". And you know honey, I was</p><p>just thinking: I'd be out today"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 4474024, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]My First Mammogram[/COLOR][/B] Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there’s no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam, and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And you can do this right in your own home! Exercise 1 Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds (while you hold your breath). Repeat again, in case the first time wasn’t effective enough. Exercise 2 Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast. Exercise 3 Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next week and do it again!! CONGRATULATIONS! Now you have nothing at all to worry about when you go for your mammogram! [B][COLOR="Red"]qqqqq[/COLOR][/B] A married guy is hanging his head. His wife Says, "Honey, how come you are hanging your head, after all, it's our 15th wedding anniversary. Husband Says well honey, I was just thinking back 15 years ago when I committed that crime, and your father the judge said, "Son, you can spend 15 years at hard labor or marry my daughter". And you know honey, I was just thinking: I'd be out today" [/QUOTE]
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