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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4515224" data-attributes="member: 14320">PMS!!!Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb? A: One!!! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this fucking house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They'd sit there in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out!! And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the fucking light bulbs despite the fact they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 13 fucking YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find the bulbs 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME FUCKING SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID BLOODY LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS DAMNED FUCKING HOUSE! I'm sorry... What was your question?*~»§«~* *~»§«~*~»A teacher asks the children to discuss what their fathers do for a living.Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail."Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better."All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny.Teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do ?"Johnny says: "My Dad is dead.""I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died ?""He turned blue and shit on the carpet."*~»§«~* *~»§«~*~»Q: What is the most common pickup line in a lesbian bar?A: "Your face, or mine?"Q: Why shouldn't we make fun of handicapped people?A: Because if it weren't for them, we wouldn't be able to find suchneat parking places.Q. What should you do if your epileptic grandma is having a seizure in the bathtub?A. Throw in some Tide and a load of dirty clothes.Q. What's the difference between mono and herpes?A. You get mono when you snatch a kiss.</blockquote>