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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4535383" data-attributes="member: 14320">Signs Of MenopauseHot Flashes ~ You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.Mood Swings ~ Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him.Memory Loss ~ You write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.Irritability ~ Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home." and your reply, "Well, if it isn't Ozzie fucking Nelson."Sleeplessness ~ The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.Fatigue ~ You find guacamole in your hair after a Mexican dinner.Mild Incontinence ~ You change your underwear after every sneeze.Sudden Weight Gain ~ You need Jaws Of Life to help you out of your car after returning home from an Italian restaurant.Female Hormone Deficiency ~ You take a sudden interest in "Wrestlemania."Hormone Therapy ~ You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to see the Chippendales.________Nina completed four weeks of dental restoration with her dentistShe confided to her best friend Rosey that she had fallen in lovewith her dentist and she was going to propose to him.Rosey said, "Nina, you're young, you're beautiful, you havedozens of men that adore you. Why is this dentist THE man for you?""Because," explained Nina, "he is the first man thatever said to me ... 'SPIT, don't SWALLOW'."</blockquote>

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