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Message: <blockquote data-quote="karl5511" data-source="post: 2752234" data-attributes="member: 52552">Old Loving An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young womanin her twenties and is contemplating a proposal."Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend."Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're90."______________________________________________________________Relationship What do men consider a 50-50 relationship?We cook, they eat! We clean, they dirty! We iron, they wrinkle!______________________________________________________________Mascara How are men like mascara?Any sign of emotion and they're running! ______________________________________________________________Young Business Man A young businessman had just started his own business. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it brilliantly decorated. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the young businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he was working a big deal. He was shouting huge figures and made giant commitments. Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I'm here to install the phone!"______________________________________________________________Yummy Peanuts A tour bus driver has a bus full of senior citizens. As he's driving, the bus driver gets tapped on the shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully eats. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch of peanuts, the bus driver asks the little old lady why she doesn't eat them."We can't chew them because we've got no teeth", she says. So, the puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"The little old lady replies, "We just love the chocolate around them!!"______________________________________________________________FBI Funny The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello?""I'm calling to report my neighbor. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood.""Thank you very much for the call sir," replied the dispatcher.The next day, FBI agents sneak up on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept.Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They yell at the neighbor and leave.The phone rings at the neighbor's house.Hey, Bill, did the FBI come?""Sure Did!""Did they chop your firewood?!""Yep!""Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed!!"</blockquote>

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