Menu
Home
Post Something
Forums
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
News & Features
The Marketplace
Cars for Sale
Engine and Performance
Chassis and Wheels
Exterior and Body
Interior and Cockpit
ICE - In Car Entertainment
Car Shops and Services
Toys and Wares
All Other Stuff
Jobs and Vacancies
Looking For
Members
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Reply to thread
See what others are reading now! Try Forums >
Current Activity
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
Jokes Archieve - Text Based
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Message
<blockquote data-quote="karl5511" data-source="post: 2752234" data-attributes="member: 52552"><p>Old Loving </p><p>An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman</p><p>in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal.</p><p>"Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend.</p><p>"Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're</p><p>90."</p><p></p><p>______________________________________________________________</p><p></p><p></p><p>Relationship </p><p>What do men consider a 50-50 relationship?</p><p>We cook, they eat! We clean, they dirty! We iron, they wrinkle!</p><p></p><p>______________________________________________________________</p><p></p><p></p><p>Mascara </p><p>How are men like mascara?</p><p>Any sign of emotion and they're running! </p><p></p><p>______________________________________________________________</p><p></p><p></p><p>Young Business Man </p><p>A young businessman had just started his own business. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it brilliantly decorated. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. </p><p>Wishing to appear busy, the young businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he was working a big deal. He was shouting huge figures and made giant commitments. </p><p>Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I'm here to install the phone!"</p><p></p><p>______________________________________________________________</p><p></p><p></p><p>Yummy Peanuts </p><p>A tour bus driver has a bus full of senior citizens. As he's driving, the bus driver gets tapped on the shoulder by a little old lady. </p><p>She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully eats. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times. </p><p>When she is about to hand him another batch of peanuts, the bus driver asks the little old lady why she doesn't eat them.</p><p>"We can't chew them because we've got no teeth", she says. </p><p>So, the puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"</p><p>The little old lady replies, "We just love the chocolate around them!!"</p><p></p><p>______________________________________________________________</p><p></p><p></p><p>FBI Funny </p><p>The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello?"</p><p>"I'm calling to report my neighbor. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."</p><p>"Thank you very much for the call sir," replied the dispatcher.</p><p></p><p>The next day, FBI agents sneak up on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept.</p><p>Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They yell at the neighbor and leave.</p><p></p><p>The phone rings at the neighbor's house.</p><p>Hey, Bill, did the FBI come?"</p><p>"Sure Did!"</p><p>"Did they chop your firewood?!"</p><p>"Yep!"</p><p>"Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed!!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="karl5511, post: 2752234, member: 52552"] Old Loving An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend. "Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90." ______________________________________________________________ Relationship What do men consider a 50-50 relationship? We cook, they eat! We clean, they dirty! We iron, they wrinkle! ______________________________________________________________ Mascara How are men like mascara? Any sign of emotion and they're running! ______________________________________________________________ Young Business Man A young businessman had just started his own business. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it brilliantly decorated. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the young businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he was working a big deal. He was shouting huge figures and made giant commitments. Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I'm here to install the phone!" ______________________________________________________________ Yummy Peanuts A tour bus driver has a bus full of senior citizens. As he's driving, the bus driver gets tapped on the shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully eats. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch of peanuts, the bus driver asks the little old lady why she doesn't eat them. "We can't chew them because we've got no teeth", she says. So, the puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?" The little old lady replies, "We just love the chocolate around them!!" ______________________________________________________________ FBI Funny The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call sir," replied the dispatcher. The next day, FBI agents sneak up on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They yell at the neighbor and leave. The phone rings at the neighbor's house. Hey, Bill, did the FBI come?" "Sure Did!" "Did they chop your firewood?!" "Yep!" "Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed!!" [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
The Marketplace Latest
Proton Preve R3 body kit
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Perodua Ativa gear up body kit
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
BMW F10 Mperformance front skirt lip
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Honda Civic FC fk7si front bumper set
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
brake caliper spray
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3 bodykit/diffuser set
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Perodua Axia Rahmah bodykit
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Nissan Almera Tomei body kit
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
original rare Black Racing Pro N1 16x6.5jj offset...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
original rare Rays Volk Racing TE37SL Black Edition...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
Posts refresh every 5 minutes
Driven: 2012 Porsche 911 Carrera S (991)
Driven: 2012 Porsche 911 Carrera S (991) - CoTY material? We think so!
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/562281_275100402588043_1540348249_n.jpg
Time changes everything. A little...
want to ask regarding t04R or equivalent
im not sure whether i type it correctly or not .. but is there such thing as a 67mm/66mm trim wheel(im not sure) , a.r70 front compressor, ar70 hotside wid t4 flanged. running on journal bearings wid full circle...
ecu kelisa 2003
looking for ecu kelisa any1 got the item??
Recent Posts
Darker Design : Mercedes-Benz Launches GLA Nightfall Edition in Malaysia
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Honda Malaysia Doubles Down on Hybrids: New CR-V Launches with Dual e:HEV...
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
BateriHub Reaches 200-Store Milestone, Becomes Malaysia’s Largest...
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Been stalking for 3 years edy
Started by
dheepadarshan95
Introduction and Newbies
Recommendation: Turbocharger for 4B11 N.A engine
Started by
Mitevo7
Car Modification
Search
Online now
Enjoying Zerotohundred?
Log-in
for an ad-less experience
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
Jokes Archieve - Text Based