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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 2908225" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong>Martha Stewart vs. Real Woman</strong></p><p></p><p>Martha's way #1:</p><p>Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice</p><p>cream drips.</p><p></p><p>The Real Women's Way:</p><p>Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you</p><p>are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.</p><p></p><p>~~~~~</p><p>Martha's way #2:</p><p>To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.</p><p></p><p>The Real Women's Way:</p><p>Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.</p><p>~~~</p><p></p><p>Martha's way #3:</p><p>When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry</p><p>cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.</p><p></p><p>The Real Women's Way:</p><p>Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.</p><p>~~~~~</p><p>Martha's way #4:</p><p>If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a</p><p>peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up."</p><p></p><p>The Real Women's Way:</p><p>If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too darn bad. Please</p><p>recite with me, The Real Women's motto: The way I make it is the way you eat</p><p>it, and the way you like it!!!</p><p>~~~~~</p><p></p><p>Martha's way #5:</p><p>Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will</p><p>keep for weeks.</p><p></p><p>The Real Women's Way:</p><p>Celery? Never heard of the stuff.</p><p>~~~~~</p><p></p><p>Martha's way #6:</p><p>Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful</p><p>glossy finish.</p><p></p><p>The Real Women's Way:</p><p></p><p>The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over</p><p>the crust so I just don't do it.</p><p>~~~~~</p><p></p><p>Martha's way #7:</p><p>Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead.</p><p>The throbbing will go away.</p><p></p><p>The Real Women's Way:</p><p>Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink. You might still have</p><p>the headache, but who cares?</p><p>~~~~~</p><p></p><p>Martha's way #8:</p><p>If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They</p><p>give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.</p><p></p><p>The Real Women's Way:</p><p>Ask "useless" to do it, while he's sitting on his butt watching TV.</p><p>~~~~~</p><p></p><p>And finally the most important tip</p><p></p><p>Martha's way #9:</p><p>Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use</p><p>in casseroles and sauces.</p><p></p><p>The Real Women's Way:</p><p>Leftover wine??????</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 2908225, member: 14320"] [B]Martha Stewart vs. Real Woman[/B] Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. The Real Women's Way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway. ~~~~~ Martha's way #2: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. The Real Women's Way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year. ~~~ Martha's way #3: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. The Real Women's Way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you. ~~~~~ Martha's way #4: If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up." The Real Women's Way: If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too darn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: The way I make it is the way you eat it, and the way you like it!!! ~~~~~ Martha's way #5: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. The Real Women's Way: Celery? Never heard of the stuff. ~~~~~ Martha's way #6: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. The Real Women's Way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I just don't do it. ~~~~~ Martha's way #7: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. The Real Women's Way: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares? ~~~~~ Martha's way #8: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy. The Real Women's Way: Ask "useless" to do it, while he's sitting on his butt watching TV. ~~~~~ And finally the most important tip Martha's way #9: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. The Real Women's Way: Leftover wine?????? [/QUOTE]
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