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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 2913012" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong>Something To Offend Everyone!</strong></p><p></p><p></p><p>What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan</p><p>**</p><p>What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.</p><p>**</p><p>What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ? The position of the dirt bag</p><p>**</p><p>Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.</p><p>**</p><p>What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts?</p><p>**</p><p>Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any</p><p>**</p><p>What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.</p><p>**</p><p>What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.</p><p>**</p><p>What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?</p><p>45 lbs</p><p>**</p><p>What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?</p><p>45 minutes</p><p>**</p><p>What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife.</p><p>**</p><p>Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.</p><p>**</p><p>Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.</p><p>**</p><p>What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you</p><p>**</p><p>What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.</p><p>**</p><p>Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls.</p><p>**</p><p>What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.</p><p>**</p><p>What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?"</p><p>**</p><p>Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you.</p><p>**</p><p>Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ? Everyone has the same DNA.</p><p>**</p><p>Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes.</p><p>**</p><p>Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo."</p><p>**</p><p>Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.</p><p>**</p><p>Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar.</p><p>**</p><p>Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong</p><p>**</p><p>What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment</p><p>**</p><p>What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring.</p><p>**</p><p>What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?</p><p>A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".</p><p>**</p><p>How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!</p><p>**</p><p>What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time...A southern fairytale begins Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."</p><p>**</p><p>Why is there no Disneyland in China ? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 2913012, member: 14320"] [B]Something To Offend Everyone![/B] What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan ** What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. ** What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ? The position of the dirt bag ** Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. ** What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts? ** Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any ** What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. ** What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities. ** What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs ** What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes ** What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. ** Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. ** Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. ** What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you ** What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. ** Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls. ** What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. ** What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" ** Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. ** Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ? Everyone has the same DNA. ** Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. ** Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo." ** Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. ** Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar. ** Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong ** What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment ** What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring. ** What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe". ** How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! ** What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time...A southern fairytale begins Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..." ** Why is there no Disneyland in China ? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides [/QUOTE]
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