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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 2913012" data-attributes="member: 14320">Something To Offend Everyone!What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan**What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.**What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ? The position of the dirt bag**Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.**What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts?**Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any**What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.**What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.**What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?45 lbs**What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?45 minutes**What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife.**Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.**Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.**What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you**What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.**Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls.**What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.**What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?"**Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you.**Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ? Everyone has the same DNA.**Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes.**Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo."**Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.**Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar.**Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong**What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment**What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring.**What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".**How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!**What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time...A southern fairytale begins Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."**Why is there no Disneyland in China ? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides</blockquote>

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