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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Jay5" data-source="post: 339151" data-attributes="member: 2810">>Customer? : Waiter, do you serve crabs?> >Waiter? : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone.> >-----------------------------------------> >Customer? : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop? > Waiter? : Can't> >you tell the difference by taste? Customer? : No, I can't.> >Waiter? : Then does it really matter?> >--------------------------------------------> >Customer? : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.> >Waiter? : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers.> >--------------------------------------------> >Customer? : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.!> >Waiter? : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much.> >--------------------------------------------> >Customer? : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.> >Waiter? : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?> >------------------------------------------------> >Customer? : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?> >Waiter? : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.> >------------------------------------------------> >Customer? : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.> >Waiter? : Funny? Then why aren't you laughing?> >---------------------------------------------------------------------> >Son? ! : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?> >Father? : No. Why do you ask that?> >Son? : Well, where did you get mummy then?> >---------------------------------------------------------------------> >Lady? : Is this my train?> >Station Master?? : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.> >Lady? : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to> >Kuala Lumpur.> >Station Master?? : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.> >--------------------------------------------------------------------> >Peter? : What! a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and> >one> >is blue with red spots!> >Kirk? : Yes it's really strange. I' ve got another pair of the same at> >home.> >---------------------------------------------------------------------> >Teacher?? : Peter, why are you late for school again?> >Peter? : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game> >went> >into extra time.> >---------------------------------------------------------------------> >Wife?? : Do you want dinner?> >Husband?? : Sure, what are my choices?> >Wife? : Yes and no.> >---------------------------------------------------------------------> >First Guy (proudly) : "My wife's an angel!"> >Second Guy?? : "How fortunate you are, mine's still alive."> >---------------------------------------------------------------------> >A girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a> >ring?"> >"Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?"> >---------------------------------------------------------------------> >A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a> >commotion> >in the gallery.> >The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."> >The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have> >a scotch and soda."> >---------------------------------------------------------------------> >Customer? : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Penang in two> >days> >time?> >Post Master? : Well it might do.> >Customer? : I bet you, it won't.> >Post Master? : Why not?> >Customer? : It's addressed to Johor.> >---------------------------------------------------------------------> >An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. 'My trouble is,' he >said,> >'that I keep forgetting things.'> >'How long has! this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.> >'How long has what been going on?' said the man.> >---------------------------------------------------------------------> >Girl? : Do you love me?> >Boy? : Yes Dear.> >Girl? : Would you die for me?> >Boy?? : No, mine is undying love.> >---------------------------------------------------------------------> >1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!> >2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.> >1st thief?? : Hurry! this is no time for superstitious.> >---------------------------------------------------------------------> >Man? : How old is your father?> >Boy? : As old as me.> >Man? : How can that be?> >Boy? : He became a father only when I was born.> >---------------------------------------------------------------------> >Teacher?? : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the> >field"> >Student?? : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field> >Teacher?? : How?> >Student?? : Ladies first.> >---------------------------------------------------------------------> >Waiter?? : I have stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.> >Customer? : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.> >---------------------------------------------------------------------> >Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting,> >"Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!"> >"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in to the living room >and tell me about it."> >"Well,"? began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math and 20 >in science."</blockquote>

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