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<blockquote data-quote="Jay5" data-source="post: 339151" data-attributes="member: 2810"><p>>Customer? : Waiter, do you serve crabs?</p><p>> >Waiter? : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone.</p><p>> >-----------------------------------------</p><p>> >Customer? : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop? > Waiter? : Can't</p><p>> >you tell the difference by taste? Customer? : No, I can't.</p><p>> >Waiter? : Then does it really matter?</p><p>> >--------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Customer? : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.</p><p>> >Waiter? : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers.</p><p>> >--------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Customer? : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.!</p><p>> >Waiter? : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much.</p><p>> >--------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Customer? : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.</p><p>> >Waiter? : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?</p><p>> >------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Customer? : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?</p><p>> >Waiter? : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.</p><p>> >------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Customer? : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.</p><p>> >Waiter? : Funny? Then why aren't you laughing?</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Son? ! : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?</p><p>> >Father? : No. Why do you ask that?</p><p>> >Son? : Well, where did you get mummy then?</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Lady? : Is this my train?</p><p>> >Station Master?? : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.</p><p>> >Lady? : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to</p><p>> >Kuala Lumpur.</p><p>> >Station Master?? : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.</p><p>> >--------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Peter? : What! a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and</p><p>> >one</p><p>> >is blue with red spots!</p><p>> >Kirk? : Yes it's really strange. I' ve got another pair of the same at</p><p>> >home.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Teacher?? : Peter, why are you late for school again?</p><p>> >Peter? : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game</p><p>> >went</p><p>> >into extra time.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Wife?? : Do you want dinner?</p><p>> >Husband?? : Sure, what are my choices?</p><p>> >Wife? : Yes and no.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >First Guy (proudly) : "My wife's an angel!"</p><p>> >Second Guy?? : "How fortunate you are, mine's still alive."</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >A girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a</p><p>> >ring?"</p><p>> >"Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?"</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a</p><p>> >commotion</p><p>> >in the gallery.</p><p>> >The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."</p><p>> >The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have</p><p>> >a scotch and soda."</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Customer? : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Penang in two</p><p>> >days</p><p>> >time?</p><p>> >Post Master? : Well it might do.</p><p>> >Customer? : I bet you, it won't.</p><p>> >Post Master? : Why not?</p><p>> >Customer? : It's addressed to Johor.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. 'My trouble is,' he </p><p>>said,</p><p>> >'that I keep forgetting things.'</p><p>> >'How long has! this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.</p><p>> >'How long has what been going on?' said the man.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Girl? : Do you love me?</p><p>> >Boy? : Yes Dear.</p><p>> >Girl? : Would you die for me?</p><p>> >Boy?? : No, mine is undying love.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!</p><p>> >2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.</p><p>> >1st thief?? : Hurry! this is no time for superstitious.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Man? : How old is your father?</p><p>> >Boy? : As old as me.</p><p>> >Man? : How can that be?</p><p>> >Boy? : He became a father only when I was born.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Teacher?? : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the</p><p>> >field"</p><p>> >Student?? : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field</p><p>> >Teacher?? : How?</p><p>> >Student?? : Ladies first.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Waiter?? : I have stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.</p><p>> >Customer? : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting,</p><p>> >"Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!"</p><p>> >"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in to the living room </p><p>>and tell me about it."</p><p></p><p>> >"Well,"? began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math and 20 </p><p>>in science."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jay5, post: 339151, member: 2810"] >Customer? : Waiter, do you serve crabs? > >Waiter? : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone. > >----------------------------------------- > >Customer? : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop? > Waiter? : Can't > >you tell the difference by taste? Customer? : No, I can't. > >Waiter? : Then does it really matter? > >-------------------------------------------- > >Customer? : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup. > >Waiter? : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers. > >-------------------------------------------- > >Customer? : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.! > >Waiter? : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much. > >-------------------------------------------- > >Customer? : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup. > >Waiter? : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard? > >------------------------------------------------ > >Customer? : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup? > >Waiter? : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller. > >------------------------------------------------ > >Customer? : Waiter, this soup tastes funny. > >Waiter? : Funny? Then why aren't you laughing? > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Son? ! : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? > >Father? : No. Why do you ask that? > >Son? : Well, where did you get mummy then? > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Lady? : Is this my train? > >Station Master?? : No, it belongs to the Railway Company. > >Lady? : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to > >Kuala Lumpur. > >Station Master?? : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. > >-------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Peter? : What! a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and > >one > >is blue with red spots! > >Kirk? : Yes it's really strange. I' ve got another pair of the same at > >home. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Teacher?? : Peter, why are you late for school again? > >Peter? : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game > >went > >into extra time. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Wife?? : Do you want dinner? > >Husband?? : Sure, what are my choices? > >Wife? : Yes and no. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >First Guy (proudly) : "My wife's an angel!" > >Second Guy?? : "How fortunate you are, mine's still alive." > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >A girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a > >ring?" > >"Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?" > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a > >commotion > >in the gallery. > >The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order." > >The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have > >a scotch and soda." > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Customer? : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Penang in two > >days > >time? > >Post Master? : Well it might do. > >Customer? : I bet you, it won't. > >Post Master? : Why not? > >Customer? : It's addressed to Johor. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. 'My trouble is,' he >said, > >'that I keep forgetting things.' > >'How long has! this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist. > >'How long has what been going on?' said the man. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Girl? : Do you love me? > >Boy? : Yes Dear. > >Girl? : Would you die for me? > >Boy?? : No, mine is undying love. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! > >2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. > >1st thief?? : Hurry! this is no time for superstitious. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Man? : How old is your father? > >Boy? : As old as me. > >Man? : How can that be? > >Boy? : He became a father only when I was born. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Teacher?? : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the > >field" > >Student?? : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field > >Teacher?? : How? > >Student?? : Ladies first. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Waiter?? : I have stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg. > >Customer? : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, > >"Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!" > >"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in to the living room >and tell me about it." > >"Well,"? began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math and 20 >in science." [/QUOTE]
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