Canning of children by parents and teachers

[6UE5t]

I'm of the opinion that to a certain degree up to certain age, some form punishment is necessary! Parents & teachers must assert as the the one with authority and must be respected in the children's mind. If the kids are too pampered, they will take advantage of you and you'll end up with spoiled brats. Of course also have to be careful with the punishment not to be over board and cross over to being violent, they're your beloved kids after all. Maybe you can hit them once or twice on their behind, or twist their ears or anything but must not leave a mark or even permanent damage other than just a slightly red skin that will disappear very shortly. Other methods of punishment can be depriving them of what they like, for example not letting them play their favorite toys/games for a certain number of days. This is now my most preferred method of punishment for my boys.

 

[pangyau]

P.Ramlee movie ANAK KU SAZALI the best example.
Maybe its just a movie, but its happen everyday.

Old people quoted "Let me teach my kids before others to do so"
After all everything came form home...

Even my colleague from USA & Europe agreed this is the best method to teach the kids.
As they also implemented it...

 

[TitanRev]

Good information here. Keep up the sharing...

 

[Supra_Fanatics]

Just don't be like my friend. I see the way he loves his daughter is gonna get him more trouble in future in educating her.
Lots of parents are like that nowadays. Just in order to keep their kids quiet, they give them what they want so that they
wont cry and embarrassed them in public area.

A few times I saw during dinner, the daughter insist she wanted the flower on the table. If you don't give her she will throw on
tantrum and cry. Until u give her, she keeps quiet.

This is so wrong. Should tell them no means no. Some are quite good. If the kids sulking there, the mum will say, if u still don't
listen, I'm not gonna bring you out anymore. U hear or not? then the kid keeps quiet but with sad face but kept quiet.

So, how you treat your kids and educate them when young is how they are gonna grow up to be one.

But I have one real experience in the family. Is how parents should act or educate their children is very important. The way you talk
to them is very important. Terms of tone of voice, words use and etcs.

From what I see from my family. As grown ups now me and my sisters. We somehow talk like our father at times especially when
we were angry. We sound exactly like our father and the way we treat each other seems to be like father talking to father
sometimes.

So, like the old saying, kids will always follow/duplicate the adults. Especially when kids are getting too smart nowadays. You
odd to think twice before you speak and things you do at home. Your kids are who you are when they grow up in this modern
era. How your behave and what you do, they will follow.

This is what I realised from myself and my siblings. The way we drive also affects how our kids drive.

 

[Izso]

You guys fail to acknowledge the root cause of the problem - Family upbringing. Just because you were caned doesn't necessarily mean you need to apply the same to your kids.

And also, kids of the 22nd generation are wayy smarter than our generation (Titan I think I'm older than you) and I have learnt this the hard way with my own 4 year old daughter. She may be as stubborn as her father when it comes to being rude and/or adamant about something but what she did surprised me, my wife and her grandparents. During the time we were scolding her she fought back a lot. But after the whole situation had calmed down she came up to us individually to apologize and actually pointed out what she felt needed apologizing for. She basically just wanted 'face'. These days she's very sneaky when it comes to wanting something and comes up with all sorts of highly creative ways to talk to us to convince us to get something for her and none involve flattery.

I personally think if we cane or apply capital punishment to todays children you'll only muffle their creativity and mould into something less than what she's capable of being.

Even my 1 year old now is showing signs of being talented in piano and he learnt it all by watching. A lot of suprising things will pop up if they are left alone to their creative devices.

I don't believe in caning or spanking kids these days. They learn fast, think fast and are highly creative beings. I suspect it's all that DHA, AHA and all that brain food you find in milk these days. It's making them smarter.

 

[cvkit17]

Technology creates better human but at the same time, also makes us stupid and reliant. Information is so easily obtained until the human brain evolves at a slower pace than old days. Btw, not relevant in this thread :hmmmm:

Just wana express my opinions here..I'm not yet a father.

We learn from mistakes. The word no pain no gain applies no matter which generation it is. But whether it is physical or mental pain, that would depend on individuals. If a child, without the sense of responsibility of an adult make a mistake and got away with it from counseling, that would not be a good thing too. Although the counselor makes him understand and admit his mistakes, but he did not really feel the pain because he lacks of obligation. Thus the mistake might reoccur, not to mention in a larger scale. But if he is inflicted with substantial amount of pain, he will always remember the mistake he has done and fear of doing it again, when the possibility of the punishment will be more severe.

To me, some children can be talked out of it. It is their nature..they are more understanding and care for others. But some are more self centered, playful, and has "never mind" attitude. It is a fact. It is human nature. I do not totally condemn caning but I condemn the abuse of caning. There's a difference in these two. You cane, the child feel pain, cry, apologize, maybe some light visible bruises, walked away, 10 minutes later, a happy and cheerful child again. This is caning..you don't use excessive force..if we use excessive force even on an adult, that is so wrong so it doesn't matter whether is it caning an adult or a child or an animal.

I do believe that after punishing a child for his wrong doing, a deep heart to heart talk is very important. Although he may only understand 50% of what is coming out from our mouth, it enables them to understand their mistake, and also at the same time we might be able to understand them better and think in their shoe. Coz when we repeat an incident, we sometimes realize more things right?

So my opinion, caning as a punishment can be remained at school. But it has to be more systematic with rules to follow. For example, a caning robot arm that meet specifications drawn out by the government or NGO or whatever. Of course, it is a hassle to build and own it but it is just a suggestion. Coz a robot can't lie so if parents complain, school can defend themselves and teachers can't abuse their authority by whacking the students out of their asses. Oh ya, caning inflicts mental punishment too..the child will be embarrassed if he is caned in front of his friends or other students. But that only apply to some. Like me, I was used to it so no big deal LOL coz my friends all also Kena together wakakaka

 

[Supra_Fanatics]

Technology creates better human but at the same time, also makes us stupid and reliant. Information is so easily obtained until the human brain evolves at a slower pace than old days. Btw, not relevant in this thread :hmmmm:

Just wana express my opinions here..I'm not yet a father.

We learn from mistakes. The word no pain no gain applies no matter which generation it is. But whether it is physical or mental pain, that would depend on individuals. If a child, without the sense of responsibility of an adult make a mistake and got away with it from counseling, that would not be a good thing too. Although the counselor makes him understand and admit his mistakes, but he did not really feel the pain because he lacks of obligation. Thus the mistake might reoccur, not to mention in a larger scale. But if he is inflicted with substantial amount of pain, he will always remember the mistake he has done and fear of doing it again, when the possibility of the punishment will be more severe.

To me, some children can be talked out of it. It is their nature..they are more understanding and care for others. But some are more self centered, playful, and has "never mind" attitude. It is a fact. It is human nature. I do not totally condemn caning but I condemn the abuse of caning. There's a difference in these two. You cane, the child feel pain, cry, apologize, maybe some light visible bruises, walked away, 10 minutes later, a happy and cheerful child again. This is caning..you don't use excessive force..if we use excessive force even on an adult, that is so wrong so it doesn't matter whether is it caning an adult or a child or an animal.

I do believe that after punishing a child for his wrong doing, a deep heart to heart talk is very important. Although he may only understand 50% of what is coming out from our mouth, it enables them to understand their mistake, and also at the same time we might be able to understand them better and think in their shoe. Coz when we repeat an incident, we sometimes realize more things right?

So my opinion, caning as a punishment can be remained at school. But it has to be more systematic with rules to follow. For example, a caning robot arm that meet specifications drawn out by the government or NGO or whatever. Of course, it is a hassle to build and own it but it is just a suggestion. Coz a robot can't lie so if parents complain, school can defend themselves and teachers can't abuse their authority by whacking the students out of their asses. Oh ya, caning inflicts mental punishment too..the child will be embarrassed if he is caned in front of his friends or other students. But that only apply to some. Like me, I was used to it so no big deal LOL coz my friends all also Kena together wakakaka

Will feel embarrassed if you are canned in front of the girl you had a crush on

 

[cvkit17]

Will feel embarrassed if you are canned in front of the girl you had a crush on

Hahaha no F lar...sometimes the girls would laugh at you at the beginning but it might also helped you in a way that she would notices you LOL! Think positively haha..

We were kids before...when we were caned at school, we seldom complain to our parents (in fact, I never complained coz if I do, might Kena again). But we were lucky that we weren't abused by the teaches. Well some of you might be abused by teachers before but the good thing is that you are already over it. We do not have to be so defensive when you child is punished. Unless the punishment is severe then only we act. Like us, the children will understand one day. But if the parents keep on defending the children and sue the teachers, it might shows a bad example whereby he can get away easily on the wrong doings he has done.

 

[Supra_Fanatics]

Mine I suffered worse. One time was innocently accused or whacked by a teacher...I think she was on PMS or something that she
wasn't teaching then everyone was talking but I did not talk out loud or anything. She suddenly appear in front of me by hitting the
feather duster right on my table in front of me and it did hit my face..I got a straight scratch mark from forehead to my nose there.

I went home told my parents about it. But on the spot I did shouted at the teacher I said what did I do!? She said u were talking loudly.
I said I didn't. I mean of all students just pick one random one to lash out her anger from what I see.

At 1st parents didnt believe that I did nothing wrong. But then they said if she do it again let us know. Stupid teacher. Must be
having period or something.

But other punishments we got before in our school was ear pulling and another one hurts the most is where the guy teacher would pinch
our meat at our stomach and pull up...usually it hurts like hell or just pull your sideburn. That teacher is a real ass.

Imagine all these brutal punishment was in primary school not secondary.

 

[devious17]

They say a durian tree takes 7 years to bare fruit but with human its a life long affair.

When teaching kids;

They may not understand
If they understand they may not necessarily do it
When they do it they may not get it right
When they get it right they may not want to do it again.

Its complex raising kids when the surrounding are so much different from when we were kids.

The first 7 years of a child is the most crucial, its when the child absorbs and form their character.

Be their friend and at times their father.

As for caning, I say whoop their ass when necessary.

 

[cvkit17]

They say a durian tree takes 7 years to bare fruit but with human its a life long affair.

When teaching kids;

They may not understand
If they understand they may not necessarily do it
When they do it they may not get it right
When they get it right they may not want to do it again.

Its complex raising kids when the surrounding are so much different from when we were kids.

The first 7 years of a child is the most crucial, its when the child absorbs and form their character.

Be their friend and at times their father.

As for caning, I say whoop their ass when necessary.

Agree..but humans forces the durians to bear fruit twice a year. That is why we see durian more and more often nowadays. So if there's problem with the kids, the source is usually the parents. Kids, durians, parents, humans.

 

[TitanRev]

Izso, thanks for the sharing. Parents upbringing is very important (THE MOST) I believe. my wife niece she's only 18 this year and already stop schooling and when her mum wins a small amount of toto she asked her mum to give her some of the money and when her mum didn't she scold her mum verbally and in FB. Tell her mum to go die and don't have such mum. When I heard about it I was very sad and wondering why like this. Her father never canned her or scold her and she's really bad attitude talk to her don't listen and when people advice her they get bad mouthed by her on FB and all her friends also the same geng.

This kind of kids, if I talked to them I wonder will they listen or even give a shit to what we talked. Kids these days think they seen the world. Come out like a boss but chicken out when they find their match.

If how the child acted is due to parents upbringing then what we are seeing now means more parents upbringing is not the right method? because can see the majority of the young these days. No need I say, we all see with eyes. I know there are still the goods young people out there but the spoil and over pampered ones are getting more and more.

Just like last week a young driver bump me in the rear of my car at a traffic light stop. I got down and the fella with his gold hair started coursing me. I said, now u bang me or I bang you? he then say is not his fault and talk crap rubbish really no respect. Then say call his friends come. I tell him you called la.....When my inspector friend come, he already chicken out and keep saying sorry sorry..This kids really shake head man....Wrong already still want to make noise there.

 

[vr2turbo]

Mine I suffered worse. One time was innocently accused or whacked by a teacher...I think she was on PMS or something that she
wasn't teaching then everyone was talking but I did not talk out loud or anything. She suddenly appear in front of me by hitting the
feather duster right on my table in front of me and it did hit my face..I got a straight scratch mark from forehead to my nose there.

I went home told my parents about it. But on the spot I did shouted at the teacher I said what did I do!? She said u were talking loudly.
I said I didn't. I mean of all students just pick one random one to lash out her anger from what I see.

At 1st parents didnt believe that I did nothing wrong. But then they said if she do it again let us know. Stupid teacher. Must be
having period or something.

But other punishments we got before in our school was ear pulling and another one hurts the most is where the guy teacher would pinch
our meat at our stomach and pull up...usually it hurts like hell or just pull your sideburn. That teacher is a real ass.

Imagine all these brutal punishment was in primary school not secondary.

I have always been on the good side of the teachers woh!.....
Different generation....:hmmmm:

 

[cbsteh]

I have always been on the good side of the teachers woh!.....
Different generation....:hmmmm:

Erm, that's called "teacher's pet". :)

 

[vr2turbo]

Erm, that's called "teacher's pet". :)

Maybe one of the primary school teacher, the others just got along well that's all.....

 

[Izso]

She suddenly appear in front of me by hitting the
feather duster right on my table in front of me and it did hit my face..I got a straight scratch mark from forehead to my nose there.

In my school a few things would happen. The kid will go back show the scar to the parents, the parents will threaten to sue the school and the school would be forced to discipline the teacher. If the parents are still not satisfied, either a lawsuit would follow or the teacher would be fired. Not a local school btw. I don't think I'd personally be happy with just going back to my parents. I'd probably complain to the principal and make big deal out of it.

Izso, thanks for the sharing. Parents upbringing is very important (THE MOST) I believe. my wife niece she's only 18 this year and already stop schooling and when her mum wins a small amount of toto she asked her mum to give her some of the money and when her mum didn't she scold her mum verbally and in FB. Tell her mum to go die and don't have such mum. When I heard about it I was very sad and wondering why like this. Her father never canned her or scold her and she's really bad attitude talk to her don't listen and when people advice her they get bad mouthed by her on FB and all her friends also the same geng.

This kind of kids, if I talked to them I wonder will they listen or even give a shit to what we talked. Kids these days think they seen the world. Come out like a boss but chicken out when they find their match.

If how the child acted is due to parents upbringing then what we are seeing now means more parents upbringing is not the right method? because can see the majority of the young these days. No need I say, we all see with eyes. I know there are still the goods young people out there but the spoil and over pampered ones are getting more and more.

Just like last week a young driver bump me in the rear of my car at a traffic light stop. I got down and the fella with his gold hair started coursing me. I said, now u bang me or I bang you? he then say is not his fault and talk crap rubbish really no respect. Then say call his friends come. I tell him you called la.....When my inspector friend come, he already chicken out and keep saying sorry sorry..This kids really shake head man....Wrong already still want to make noise there.

Ultimately it's the family upbringing. I never said you shouldn't discipline, just that caning isn't the best solution for kids today. Whenever my daughter makes a fuss, I confiscate all her toys and make sure that she understands that if she is naughty, she doesn't get to play. Or if she makes a fuss of her food, she doesn't get to eat. Actions and consequences. Rather than caning and forced submission.

 

[Supra_Fanatics]

Izso, thanks for the sharing. Parents upbringing is very important (THE MOST) I believe. my wife niece she's only 18 this year and already stop schooling and when her mum wins a small amount of toto she asked her mum to give her some of the money and when her mum didn't she scold her mum verbally and in FB. Tell her mum to go die and don't have such mum. When I heard about it I was very sad and wondering why like this. Her father never canned her or scold her and she's really bad attitude talk to her don't listen and when people advice her they get bad mouthed by her on FB and all her friends also the same geng.

This kind of kids, if I talked to them I wonder will they listen or even give a shit to what we talked. Kids these days think they seen the world. Come out like a boss but chicken out when they find their match.

If how the child acted is due to parents upbringing then what we are seeing now means more parents upbringing is not the right method? because can see the majority of the young these days. No need I say, we all see with eyes. I know there are still the goods young people out there but the spoil and over pampered ones are getting more and more.

Just like last week a young driver bump me in the rear of my car at a traffic light stop. I got down and the fella with his gold hair started coursing me. I said, now u bang me or I bang you? he then say is not his fault and talk crap rubbish really no respect. Then say call his friends come. I tell him you called la.....When my inspector friend come, he already chicken out and keep saying sorry sorry..This kids really shake head man....Wrong already still want to make noise there.

I have to agree on this, nowadays young teens are call Gen Y era. The way they think are totally different than the way we think back then. Maybe is the way Gen Y are brought up and things that were exposed in the society. They are smarter and yet they have their own thinking. So, using the 10 or 20 years back then way to educate them aint gonna work well.

I tried it with my younger sister, instead of appreciating, she finds you annoying with all the
advices given and taken it as lecture instead.

Kinda hard headed, yes they are. They are more to the way where, "Bila Jatuh Baru Rasa Sakit".
They just have to learn the lesson the hard way only realised how silly and wrong they were
for not taking our words for it.

Teens at the age of 16 - 23 I would say. They are too eager to grow up and they would always
try to act like an adult and wanted to be treated like an adult as well. They would think they
know everything and enough to survive in the outside world.

I was the same back then when I was at that age. We can just advise but not necessary they
will accept.

In my school a few things would happen. The kid will go back show the scar to the parents, the parents will threaten to sue the school and the school would be forced to discipline the teacher. If the parents are still not satisfied, either a lawsuit would follow or the teacher would be fired. Not a local school btw. I don't think I'd personally be happy with just going back to my parents. I'd probably complain to the principal and make big deal out of it.

Ultimately it's the family upbringing. I never said you shouldn't discipline, just that caning isn't the best solution for kids today. Whenever my daughter makes a fuss, I confiscate all her toys and make sure that she understands that if she is naughty, she doesn't get to play. Or if she makes a fuss of her food, she doesn't get to eat. Actions and consequences. Rather than caning and forced submission.

That's the thing back then, the principal is actually the same as any teachers out there which
in fact he was the worse one. So there was no one else for us to go to except our parents.

But we don't complain on small things like being whack by rotan or punish to stand outside.
Nowadays, even if u punish the students to stand on the chair. The parents would come
complaining. Child nowadays are treated like a Prince and the parents are just King & Queen.

I agree on just punish them by taking away things they like or ban them from doing things
they like. Only canning comes in when all these doesn't work. I was banned before from
playing PS2 or computer from behaving badly but Cyber Cafes are always alternatives back
then

That's where canning comes when I don't listen

 

[^pomen_GTR^]

I have to agree on this, nowadays young teens are call Gen Y era. The way they think are totally different than the way we think back then. Maybe is the way Gen Y are brought up and things that were exposed in the society. They are smarter and yet they have their own thinking. So, using the 10 or 20 years back then way to educate them aint gonna work well.

I tried it with my younger sister, instead of appreciating, she finds you annoying with all the
advices given and taken it as lecture instead.

Kinda hard headed, yes they are. They are more to the way where, "Bila Jatuh Baru Rasa Sakit".
They just have to learn the lesson the hard way only realised how silly and wrong they were
for not taking our words for it.

Teens at the age of 16 - 23 I would say. They are too eager to grow up and they would always
try to act like an adult and wanted to be treated like an adult as well. They would think they
know everything and enough to survive in the outside world.

I was the same back then when I was at that age. We can just advise but not necessary they
will accept.



That's the thing back then, the principal is actually the same as any teachers out there which
in fact he was the worse one. So there was no one else for us to go to except our parents.

But we don't complain on small things like being whack by rotan or punish to stand outside.
Nowadays, even if u punish the students to stand on the chair. The parents would come
complaining. Child nowadays are treated like a Prince and the parents are just King & Queen.

I agree on just punish them by taking away things they like or ban them from doing things
they like. Only canning comes in when all these doesn't work. I was banned before from
playing PS2 or computer from behaving badly but Cyber Cafes are always alternatives back
then

That's where canning comes when I don't listen

haha....i was banned to watch tv during schoolday untill i finished my pile of homework and also exercise book..the quota set by my dad.....only got rest time at 8pm (news time for dinner and watch news) then after that all hell break loose if u not doing your task...

even my early "race car" (tamiya car) also being demolished by my dad sort of car crusher crushing your car right in front of your eyes due to: too much playing reason....

 

[Supra_Fanatics]

haha....i was banned to watch tv during schoolday untill i finished my pile of homework and also exercise book..the quota set by my dad.....only got rest time at 8pm (news time for dinner and watch news) then after that all hell break loose if u not doing your task...

even my early "race car" (tamiya car) also being demolished by my dad sort of car crusher crushing your car right in front of your eyes due to: too much playing reason....

Tamiya car, hmmm means we are not that far from age wise

Damn! Like a giant destroying a car...
Reminds me of the movie Jack The Giant Slayer.

I was punish to finish the whole bowl of vegetables cook by my mum for not eating vegetables
during dinner. That was the most suffering day of my life. Just eat whole bowl of vege and not
rice....When I was a kid finish whole bowl of Vege is torturing when I don't even take any.

 

[cvkit17]

There is a gap between early Generation Y and late Generation Y. Anyone after 2004 is more to Generation Z already. Early Generation Y still share some values of the older Generation X for example, playing outdoor and has no PC. Gen Z would share some values from late Gen Y, which is pad pad pad pad phone phone phone pad phone phone pad pad phone.