Originally posted by alantan@Apr 21 2004, 07:21 PM
update..
she called me and tell me she's tired..so if no reason won't go wor..
i told her..i can't tell why on the phone..then she is liek...screaming..why...
scream on teh phone..so loud summore...
then i told i can;t el why....and bla bla bla..
planned canceled..
dr.glozz,
when she ask why i ask her out...
i told her i canntot el you why unless you go lor..
and then shai kept asking why why why..
i said i can't tell why...i cannott ell..
then she said she dun wanna go lor...
sob :(
heh, I like XaMax's answers. Reminds me of some comedy. :lol: :lol: heh. joking man.
Hmm, I don't know man, I think I've been through what you've been through before. I would seriously recommend, you holding back on what you need to tell her, and just tell her when you meet her face-to-face. Why I say so, is because, sometimes, it's better you stretch her limits and let this make her curious.
It should help you when you need to tell her your feelings. Plus you can use this to your advantage by helping make her comfortable before telling her, by making a joke out of it or something like that (say, "eh, I don't feel like telling today larr, can you come back tomorrow?") or something like that larr. I can't think properly now, so my sense of humour's rather corny at this present moment. :lol: I'm sure you can think of something better than I can.
alantan,
It's not that sometimes you have to tell lies. I prefer to call it, "saying the right things at the right time." See, as humans, we have this BIG problem of saying the wrong things at the wrong time. As such, it actually puts you in a BIGGER problem, just because you did the right thing, by not lying. Therefore, sometimes it's how you package things and when you say them. Communication IS a tough process.
Currently, she's curious about what you want to say and this will most probably put her on the defensive, since she's wondering what you have to say and this will make her cautious. Therefore, when she's cautious, it would be hard for her to listen to what you have to say properly and neutrally. She would naturally have her defences up, thinking of all the possibilities that may happen.
If it's not today, maybe tomorrow lorr or so. I'm pretty much sure if you can keep dangling the carrot and RESIST the temptation of telling her too early when the mood is not right (like now, when she's on the defensive), she WILL meet up with you. Just hold on man, and be strong.
That's life man. You will have to learn the methods of communication and why it's SO important.
And I would like to re-iterate one point when you tell her your feelings. DO NOT EXPECT AN ANSWER FROM HER. Read my earlier advise, if you want. Remember, when you take step (1) and tell her, you're merely TELLING HER your feelings, not EXPECTING A REPLY from her. Just make her as comfortable as possible, tell her that she doesn't have to say anything, just listen for a while. And say you hope that she won't get angry, and be SINCERE. And then tell her, and then just say what you want to say. And then say, "that's all, sorry if I make you angry by telling you. Alright, that's all. You can go home now. heh". And LAUGH. That's to ease the tension caused by saying your heart to her. Then change the topic, and then follow step (2). REMEMBER NOT to bring it up again, until you're ready for step(3).
Good luck man. I hope it works out for you.
