Dc.Glozz,word of wisdom
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Hmm, sounds to me that she's just a typical human. I remember a couple of cases involving my friends (guys) who did EXACTLY the same thing as your girl did. See, at the end of the day, we as humans would prefer to have our cake and eat it as well, and if we can't get what we want, we ARE prepared to lower our standards a 'lil, if only for temporary purposes.
That's because all of us want to be loved. However, most of the time, people only look at themselves and don't look at how the other person feels. As such, they are selfish and only care about their own needs. However, that's life lorr and such is a typical human being. Sad, but what to do.
I just posted the above so as to say that this is normal, as well as to say that it is neither wrong, nor right. Nor is it something done by a specific gender. Because at the end of the day, all of us want the BEST for ourselves.
However, that doesn't mean that you should compromise your feelings. Good on you for finding out what lied under the surface. At least you know for yourself, what is truly happening and that it's not your fault for what has happened that caused the breakup with your gf.
Anyway, based on this, I feel it's time for a sitdown with your gf to talk about the issues as well as about the future. I would seriously advise you NOT to change for the girl's sake, just for the relationship; ONLY IF YOU KNOW THAT HOW YOU'RE ACTING, IS BEING YOURSELF AND THAT YOU'RE RIGHT.
After that, I would seriously suggest to you that the both of you sit down to talk about this situations. Problems are always hard to go through, and sometimes better to just sweep under the carpet and forget about it, but it will NOT SOLVE THE PROBLEM. However, please remember that all cases are separate and sometimes, it is better to just sit still and don't talk about it for the time being, but that does not mean you're forgetting about the problem. Just that sometimes, timing is everything. And now is the time for action.
Talk to the girl, and I would seriously advise you to tell her you know of why she returned to you. However, please be careful when you tell her that. Don't tell her you checked her messages or she'll accuse you of snooping around and not trusting her. Make sure your case, when stating it, is flawless so that she is forced to look at the problem, and cannot redirect the blame. Because humans are damn good at blame redirection.
So, see how her reaction is like after that. Tell the truth to her about how this has hurt your feelings, for only then can you get closure. However, be understanding not to be too harsh on her as well, for we all make mistakes. After all this, talk out about what can be done. Ultimately it is both your decision and hers to see the direction of the relationship and whether you guys want to carry on after all that has happened, but this can only be done if the problem is recognised, fixed and solved.
On how you feel about the relationship, I would say that it's your call man. Decide on whether she's worth it or not. But remember one thing, problems will ALWAYS happen, so sometimes, might as well go through the problems. No point letting all that has happened so far go to waste. However, you must be AWARE of the risks that you may have to take, and the possibility that this may happen again. But people do deserve chances, but only if they make an effort to correct this problem and to be fair to you. See how she treats you and what she does to make it up to you, if you're still willing to go on, but one thing here. Be HUMBLE and gracious. This does not give you the right to make fun of her and to treat her badly. We all mistakes, but that does not mean that we should be trampled to the ground and humiliated if we are trying to correct the mistake.
Good luck man.
Disclaimer : Please bear in mind that all my posts are cross-gender and not specific to a certain gender, race, species (unless specified, as in this case). :lol: heh.
dude....
if i were you......i'd just set my limits towards her.....remain FRIENDS with her.....
though it kinda pain.......but you'll be safe and you choices are open.
you can go on to look for the ONE in your life.....
cmon, she is only back for you when the guy dumps her.....what she think you are? dude...have some DIGNITY.....she can dump you once...she can dump you again.
Originally posted by ROADRAGE+Apr 11 2004, 12:48 AM-->
QUOTE (ROADRAGE @ Apr 11 2004, 12:48 AM) --QuoteBegin-Angelz
@Apr 10 2004, 07:58 PM
:D haih taikor..
I really cant help much.. cos im in almost the same situation like yours... haih.. around 2 weeks ago.. my gf dump me.. fark.. :( even we only had 3 years plus relationship but then its still cuts like a knife... haih.. for the pass 2 weeks it was the darkest and the most pressure week.. cos my finals.. started last week too.. i nearly gave up and everything.. :unsure: i feel so down...
She dump me because she say she wanted to be a single for awhile but then at last i manage to force the truth out of her... its was another guy.. haih.. she's not even meeting the guy yet.. but she have feelings for the guy..but i know tat she still love me.. haih.. :huh: i also dont know how to explain
but lucky i have frens who are very caring.. they advise me and advise me.. haih.. only a few days ago i manage to stand up.. and continue with mylife.. ;) i learn that there is still many girls out there.. haih... but i still love her.. :ph34r: but wat has been decided is decided... i guess ... if few months later she want me back.. i think i wont take her back.. how can i give my heart to some one who had cut them up to million pieces for me.. ? :o
hey guys.. sorry maybe this abit off topic.. but i just wana type some stuff out.. =p hope u guys dont mind.. cheerz.. single life rox too.. no boundries.. to anything
anyone Going zouk tonight? hehee :rolleyes:
wish u all the best in ur finals...i flunked my finals just because i was thinking bout her too much....hope u manage to get thru these dark times...sigh [/b][/quote] Alright, looks like it's time for me to share something here. The first time I got cheated on, it was by my 5th or 6th (I can't remember) ex a couple of years back. I noticed that she had changed abit in the past 1-2 weeks or so and seemed quieter than usual, among other things. Anyway, I thought she was just feeling stressed or something, so I decided to use up some of my savings and bought her a music box worth RM130++ (my monthly allowance for college that time was RM80 a month). Anyway, when I bought it, I fell sick the next day and was diagnosed with having measles. Since that time I wanted to give it to her, I just visited her and gave her the present. She was quite happy, but seemed more concerned about me giving her measles rather than the present. :lol: Anyway, the next day I could not contact her until late afternoon, and was told by her brother that she was in the hospital and was diagnosed with denggi. I managed to get her ward and room number and decided to walk to the hospital which is about 30 mins from my house. (Strangely, you are normally required to rest for 3 days after measles but somehow apart from quite high fever and the odd itchy bout, I felt good enough) Anyway, got some flowers and went visit her. She was quite sick, but recovering, but wasn't really all that surprised to see me. Or the flowers for that matter. :D Anyway, she wasn't really talkative and seemed quite distant, but I thought maybe it was because she was sick. Then she told me that she could only make 1 phone call when she was admitted and called her best friend to tell her that she was in the hospital. Anyways, I said alright, nevermind and just teman her larr. She still kept quite quiet until the her h/p rang. After that she was all happy and cheerful because it was her best friend. Anyway, halfway during the conversation, they switched to mandarin and started talking. My mandarin speaking is poor (I'm a banana) but I could understand quite alot of the things she was saying. She was telling her best friend to talk in Mandarin since I was around and I didn't understand mandarin. Anyway, she asked her best friend whether she told the guy (an ex she still likes) that she was in hospital. Then she told her to tell him that she was quite sick and to come see her since he has been avoiding her before that. Anyway, to say I was hurt is quite an understatement at that time and I just went off home shortly after that, quite shocked. Didn't manage to sleep at all that night and went off the next morning to see her again, hoping that things changed for the better. Well, things were slightly better in the sense she seemed more open and not so quiet and moody. I thought perhaps I was wrong and mistaken. Anyway, I spent most of the day there, and by afternoon, she seemed quite quiet again. Anyway, she went to sleep and I wrote her a poem, to give to her. When I gave it to her though, she didn't seem thrilled at all. Anyways, a short while later and she got a call. Well, it appears that it was the guy calling and she was all happy and cheery. Anyway, I asked her about the call and she just said that it was some friend, and she became quiet and moody once again. I got the hint and went home shortly. Anyway, once again, I couldn't sleep nor eat much. Just felt the hurt quite abit. Anyway, the hurt went on for another 2-3 days, in which I hardly slept. Anyway, by the last night, I was so tired and numb that I could feel no more and I just decided that enough was enough and that to avoid seriously damaging my health, I just needed to quit her and start again. Anyway, I managed to sleep that night, and woke up feeling alot better. The hurt was still there, but at least I was recovering and more or less accepted what happened. Anyway, she called me later that day from the hospital saying that she had something to tell me that night and I guessed it was about us. So to cut a long story short, she called me that night and she told me she wanted to break-up and gave the usual excuses. I didn't feel like entertaining much nonsense so I just told her that I knew about the other guy and what happened at the hospital. Then she scolded me for eavesdropping and blamed my having measles for causing her to have denggi and we ended the conversation in an argument. Anyway, I felt alot better though, after that. Not so much because I raised the issue with her and managed to "put one" on her, but because I was able to learn how to move on, quite quickly though. Sure, I felt the hurt from time to time after that, and loneliness came in, but all-in-all, I knew I had to move on and that life went on. And I found things to pass my time again, and my life went on. At the end of the day, there are much more important things in life than just a girl who treats you badly. Sure, the pain will hurt like hell, but you just have to move on. Don't let it affect you too much. You still have to go on in life. Studies, work and all that still has to go on. You can't let all that you've worked hard for just disappear just because a girl hurt you badly or a relationship went sour. Sure, it'll affect you a 'lil, that's normal. Just don't let it ruin your life. Know what you need to do to heal yourself and move on, and do it. After all, if someone treats you badly, why waste anymore of your current life on that person? Good luck guys, and sorry for the LOOOOONG story telling session. :lol: |
glozz,i respect u :)
well,my turn though.just happened recently only,it was the last day of the year(31st Dec 2003),supposedly everyone was happy celebrating but my family and i couldn't cos dat was the day when my beloved grandma past away :(
it also hurts when my gf lied saying that she's in college doing some project which later on i found out that she went out with an icq fren guy to midvalley together holding hands too,this really hurts me but gals are gals,they seem to get confused easily.
know for only 6 months and she had some feelings towards him already,just becos of a ugly farking piece of shit with bugs bunny teeth earning few hundred bucks in PD who knows how to sweet talk anyway i fought for it and i've won the battle but not the war and after that i think back again,why did i fight for it? *sigh* shouldn't have done dat ;)
well,what i'm tying to say is try to learn how to let go.don't be like me :( wish i'm going out with some cun college chick here :(
well,my turn though.just happened recently only,it was the last day of the year(31st Dec 2003),supposedly everyone was happy celebrating but my family and i couldn't cos dat was the day when my beloved grandma past away :(
it also hurts when my gf lied saying that she's in college doing some project which later on i found out that she went out with an icq fren guy to midvalley together holding hands too,this really hurts me but gals are gals,they seem to get confused easily.
know for only 6 months and she had some feelings towards him already,just becos of a ugly farking piece of shit with bugs bunny teeth earning few hundred bucks in PD who knows how to sweet talk
anyway i fought for it and i've won the battle but not the war and after that i think back again,why did i fight for it? *sigh* shouldn't have done dat ;) well,what i'm tying to say is try to learn how to let go.don't be like me :( wish i'm going out with some cun college chick here :(
well..the story is quite interesting though
Ermm, thanks thanks, but whylarr respect me larr wei? I'm nothing special nor great larr wei. :ph34r:Originally posted by mr_freak@Apr 12 2004, 05:26 PM
glozz,i respect u :)
well,my turn though.just happened recently only,it was the last day of the year(31st Dec 2003),supposedly everyone was happy celebrating but my family and i couldn't cos dat was the day when my beloved grandma past away :(
it also hurts when my gf lied saying that she's in college doing some project which later on i found out that she went out with an icq fren guy to midvalley together holding hands too,this really hurts me but gals are gals,they seem to get confused easily.
know for only 6 months and she had some feelings towards him already,just becos of a ugly farking piece of shit with bugs bunny teeth earning few hundred bucks in PD who knows how to sweet talk
well,what i'm tying to say is try to learn how to let go.don't be like me :( wish i'm going out with some cun college chick here :(
Anyway, well, sometimes we find it hard to accept things and find ourselves in denial. Well, what to do. All I can say is, you learn new things everyday. Mistakes once made, just learn from it lorr. No point dwelling on it and making yourself feel worst.
Life goes on, move on. Sometimes you just have to let go. Like I've said before, Love let go, if returned, is the sweetest love of all. There's no point trying to force someone to love you.
Anyway, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Thank God for that. :lol: :lol:
well...
the LOSER has come back again in ZTH...
:(
im damn dissapointed with all the gals including my mom coz my mom also a woman......
i lost all my hope...and i jz stay on day by day....and i dont know when i can still hold on..
the LOSER has come back again in ZTH...
:(
im damn dissapointed with all the gals including my mom coz my mom also a woman......
i lost all my hope...and i jz stay on day by day....and i dont know when i can still hold on..
Well,
That's very strong words I must mention. Imagine if your mum felt the same thing when you were too young and fragile to fend for yourself, would you have grown up to be so big?
"Forget not where you came from, for at least you came from somewhere."
That's very strong words I must mention. Imagine if your mum felt the same thing when you were too young and fragile to fend for yourself, would you have grown up to be so big?
"Forget not where you came from, for at least you came from somewhere."
yeah she felt it...why im here at first place??
hamsap is the word...sigh..i dunno lar...ok dont mention my mom..
correct sentence for it..
I LOST ALL THE HOPE AND FAITH ON ANY GALS...
Glozz r u christian...
u r only 23 but u are full of experience..
i really hope someone able to help me...
hamsap is the word...sigh..i dunno lar...ok dont mention my mom..
correct sentence for it..
I LOST ALL THE HOPE AND FAITH ON ANY GALS...
Glozz r u christian...
u r only 23 but u are full of experience..
i really hope someone able to help me...
glozz
youre the master ler.. =p anyway haih.. disapointed again.. today i asked her do you love me.. then she tulan me.. she said she confused and duwan to think abt it now.. fark.. anyone heard of linus blanket? i feel like a linus blanket now.. she only needs me cos the guy which she had a crush on, needs time to think abt the relationship.. haih.. apart of me i hate her for being so cruel and another part of me is still loving her.. fark..
girls are girls.. why can they be so greedy? am i good enough for her? i gave her everything.. haih.. sadness :( haih.. but then lucky i manage to walk through it.. ;)
malaysian
you bro wat happened to you ler..? y so down.. cheer up okay? =p this song sounds nice.. for all those heart broken ppl like me..
eamon - i dont want you back ( fuck It ) got 2 version d/l the fuck it version.. =p
youre the master ler.. =p anyway haih.. disapointed again.. today i asked her do you love me.. then she tulan me.. she said she confused and duwan to think abt it now.. fark.. anyone heard of linus blanket? i feel like a linus blanket now.. she only needs me cos the guy which she had a crush on, needs time to think abt the relationship.. haih.. apart of me i hate her for being so cruel and another part of me is still loving her.. fark..
girls are girls.. why can they be so greedy? am i good enough for her? i gave her everything.. haih.. sadness :( haih.. but then lucky i manage to walk through it.. ;)
malaysian
you bro wat happened to you ler..? y so down.. cheer up okay? =p this song sounds nice.. for all those heart broken ppl like me..
eamon - i dont want you back ( fuck It ) got 2 version d/l the fuck it version.. =p
:o Stalkers....
better report to police
better report to police
Malaysian,
Don't be so quick to blame and give up. Life's full of rotten apples and bad things, but doesn't mean that there aren't any good apples or good things.
Relax abit man. You're fortunate to be able to live life quite comfortably, with your studies financed by your parents and all you can do is moan about how you hate girls? Find your focus man, find your focus.
Life's much too short to spend it moaning and complaining. Learn to reshape your life and live it to the most, then you will appreciate what life has to offer.
And yepp, I am a Christian. Why? :lol:
heh. I doubt I am that experienced larr. But put it this way, I've gone through quite alot of shit ever since I was young. So, most of my advise has been based on the mistakes I've made and what I've learnt and observed. Heck, at least I didn't make the mistakes in vain then. :lol:
And the only person who can help you is yourself. I believe you've got too much time on your hands. Heck, I wish I've got that much time. :lol:
Just keep going man, and take it easy. Good luck.
Well, it's a normal part of human psychology to always assume that the problems one is facing is the WORST and no one else can relate to it. That's because as humans, we are all attention-seekers man. Sad but true.Originally posted by ROADRAGE@Apr 12 2004, 08:53 PM
man....and i thought my love life was terrible....no offence mates but i have learned quite a lot in here thanks agin
bout the biatch with the denggi part.....i can relate....ooooOOOOoohhhh
In life, there will always be someone BETTER and WORST off then you. So just be humble, gracious and thankful for what little you have, for you don't know how long you'll have it.
And good on 'ya for learning man. Makes what we've gone through worthwhile. As for my ex, well, I have learnt alot from that relationship lorr, so there's always 2 ways to look at things. Why make life so depressing and concentrate on problems when you will need to resolve them anyway? So find something to look forward to man, life's too short.
eh? What master master larr. I'm not that great larr wei. Thanks for the compliment though, but there's nothing great about me. ;)
Anyway, a linus blanket, well, true, no one likes to be treated like a backup lorr, and like i've mentioned it earlier, speak to her about it, and how you feel about it, but for now, GIVE HER TIME. Since she's mentioned that she's confused, tell her you'll give her time, and do it. Leave her alone, and tell her that you'll leave her alone until she's ready to talk and to let you know when she's ready.
Then take some time to yourself man and heal. You need some time to recover from the hurt as well. Accept what has happened, but decide on what you need to do. Obviously, consider what she says when she's ready to talk and see what she wants from you and what is the future of the both of you. Then consider whether or not you share the same feelings and whether you can put the hurt behind you, if she's really serious about it. Of course, there's always the possibility of being hurt again. But then again, that is life. Everything has it's risks, but if you don't learn it now, you'll learn it later. So you might as well just go through it now and learn.
However, at the end of the day, it is your decision as well as hers. Make the decision you feel you won't regret, but think through it first with a clear mind. But let her first decide on what she wants for the both of you, before seeing what to do.
For now, take time to yourself to heal first.
Good luck man. Hope my advise is not too messy. I'm rather blur now, but then again, what else is new? heh. :lol:
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